Sister Act

When Lian Dolan '87 and her sisters Julie, Liz, Sheila and Monica--now known cumulatively as "The Satellite Sisters"--gathered for a reunion at the mudbaths of Calistoga, California, in 1996, they had two goals: "to spend some time alone together," and "to develop an idea for a radio show..."

Never mind that Lian's stint as a DJ on KSPC while she was a student at Pomona was the only direct experience any of them had in radio. They had each other, rich and varied life experiences, and a great plan: "to have the kind of conversations on the air that sisters have in real life."

It wasn't simply for the sake of conversation, however, and that became immediately clear when I met with Lian at her home to talk about the Satellite Sisters. As Lian said about the show's genesis, "... we might as well have decided to go to the moon together, but what we really felt was that the conversations women had with each other and the things women were interested in were trivialized by the mainstream media. Ninety-five percent of the things we talk about every day with our friends, with our husbands, with our partners, with our doctors and at work were just dismissed as girl talk, and the things women care about are important and should be treated as such. ... It's great to spend 5 or 10 percent of your time knowing the news of the day, but what you really talk about when you shut the door is "what am I going to do with my mother who has Alzheimer's," or "I have a 17-year-old--how do I deal with that?"

It was on this basis that the Satellite Sisters, now nationally syndicated on public radio and distributed by Public Radio International, was born. The name for the show came into being because the five sisters link up once a week by satellite from all over the world to talk with sometimes ordinary, sometimes famous, people about the decisions people make in their lives including "the practical nuts-and-bolts choices about everything from career moves to childcare issues, from writing a will to what to serve at Thanksgiving." Their guiding principle from the beginning: "Not every conversation changes your life, but any conversation can."

The newly-published Satellite Sisters' UnCommon Senses is a book that talks about how the values that inform their lives and the show were formed. As Lian said, "We knew we didn't want it to be an advice book because we just have no business telling other people how to live their lives, so we decided to talk about our own experience, something we don't talk about on the radio show."

Drawing on their own experiences, from their childhoods through their adult lives, UnCommon Senses is divided into five "uncommon senses": a sense of connection, a sense of self, a sense of humor, a sense of adventure, and a sense of direction. These five senses, drawn from lists each sister submitted about what was important (a sense of humor was the first to be identified), were based on "the theory that there are five senses you're born with, but in the real world you need to develop a lot of other senses." Using the uncommon senses as the organizing structure for the book, each section comprises a number of vignettes from all the sisters. One sister was assigned as the lead person for each section (Lian's was a sense of humor), and each sister contributed short pieces that make up each chapter.

One of the most striking impressions that resonates throughout the book is the sense that the Dolan sisters grew up in a sane, cohesive family, where everyone understood the rules of living in a family of 10. In this family, they learned many of the same lessons, and the crossovers from one sister's stories to another's are an often interesting study in perspective, personality and pecking order. Lian summarizes it this way: "A great, maybe accidental, gift our parents gave us was that in a big family no one singles you out as being special or perfect. You're good at one or two things, great; but you're not the center of the universe. I think it helped us all immeasurably as we've gone into the world and gotten into the work force; we don't feel entitled."

Written with a mixture of down-to-earth humor, vulnerability, and wisdom, UnCommon Senses reveals lessons learned that are both familiar and timeless. Who, for example, can argue with the values implicit in stories like "Get Over Yourself," "Carry Your Own Skis," "Things Don't Always Divide Evenly into Eight," "You'll Be Fine, Dear," or "Get Up and Get Going"?

In the first chapter, Lian offers us a working definition of a Satellite Sister as "a sounding board for your wacky career plans, a guaranteed chitchat partner at cocktail parties, someone who's seen you in your glasses, someone to put on the emergency form at your child's school. A Satellite Sister brings information, perspective, and balance to your life when you are lacking all three. A Satellite Sister is the person who gets you through, makes you laugh, and every once in a while, changes your mind." The duties of a Satellite Sister, explained in the book, are divided into "The Buck Up," "The Bust," "The Camouflage," "The Fun Factor," "The No-Fly Zone (don't go there)," and "The Better Half."

While it was the sense of adventure that brought Lian to Pomona--none of her siblings had ever studied on the West Coast--this Satellite Sister found much more: an interest in a lot of different subjects--"perfect if you're a public radio talk show host"--the ability to think critically and to voice one's opinion, a great solid group of her own Satellite Sisters--"you need that solid base of friendship to go out and do anything in the world"--and, in her words, "a cute husband."

And to think she chose Pomona sight unseen: "Not only hadn't my parents checked out Pomona College in Claremont, California, with her, but Lian herself had never been there. The word was that Pomona was 'the Williams of the West' with better weather. Being the youngest of eight, the 'West' part appealed to Lian. Maintaining high educational standards, the 'Williams' part appealed to my parents. Everyone was happy. No one needed a tour." (From the segment aptly titled "I've Already Been to College.)

In the end, both the Satellite Sisters radio show and Satellite Sisters' UnCommon Senses can be summarized by these comments from Lian: "What really resonates with people--if you read the book, listen to the show--are really the small things in life. ... Some days you need to talk about international human rights, and some days you need to talk about back-to-school fashions. That's the way women's lives go."

--Anita Moore is a freelance writer and editor living in Claremont.